Function of Boundaries
Boundaries are the internal and external lines that we create to protect ourselves and others within relationships. They help us hold true to who we are and who we are not and who we are willing to be around. Boundaries are personal. I had someone tell me once: “You have to figure out where you draw your line in the sand. Only you get to decide. You have lay your head on the pillow and sleep at night.” Boundaries tap into our value system. Boundaries that are too rigid prevent growth and boundaries that are too loose invite unsafe relationships.
5 Categories of Boundaries
- Who, what, how much others may be around me and touch me.
- What I consider acceptable treatment within the relationship. Do I feel respected? Do others respect me? Does this align with my values?
- Does my belief system or spiritual practices align with others that I am sharing my life with?
- When, with whom, and how much of my sexuality do I share? This goes beyond sexual activities to include jokes, innuendoes, gestures, etc.
- How are my thoughts received by others? Are others receptive? Am I able to continue to go on and learn?
Setting boundaries and maintaining them may feel uncomfortable and it may feel like you will loose the relationship. Keeping true to your values will reduce your internal frustration, reduce anger, and anxiety. However, consider this: if its an unhealthy relationship is it a risk worth taking? Maintaining personal boundaries discourage unhealthy relationships or abuse and encourage positive interactions and lead to stronger healthier interactions.
Until I write again,